How to be the perfect visitor to a postpartum mom: The dos and don'ts from mothers who have been there

The Motherhood has come through with a guide for visiting postpartum mothers! Thank you to all the women who have shared their experience: what they loved and what they did not. Welcoming a new baby is an exciting yet exhausting journey for new moms. As many of us know the experience is a mix of joy, fatigue, and adjustment, making it crucial for friends and family to offer support during this time. However, understanding how to navigate postpartum visits can be tricky. Here are some practical

dos and don'ts to help you become the ideal visitor.

Do Bring Food

Food Food Food!! Food was the top tip from The Motherhood. Bringing meals lightens to load of the new mama. Here are some tips about what type of food to bring:

• opt for items that can be easily reheated or require minimal prep time. Casseroles or frozen meals work well.

• include cooking instructions on the package.

• prepare something nutritious to help the mother heal and gain energy

• don't overlook snacks! Healthy options like energy bars, mixed nuts, or fruit can be game-changers during busy feeding sessions.

• coffee is essential for exhausted parents

• skip the dishes giftcards

The point of meals is to take the load off the new mom - so think simple! Even cook it for them!

Don’t Stay Long

While you may want to catch up or meet the baby, it’s important to respect the new mom's need for space. This new baby is here forever now and this difficult stage for moms will pass - there will be plenty of time for visits! Most new mothers feel overwhelmed with emotions and the physical demands of recovery.

Keep your visit short, around 30 to 60 minutes. This allows her to enjoy your company without feeling pressured to entertain. Avoid dropping by unexpectedly; instead, send a quick text to let her decide when she feels ready for visitors.

Remember, she should be focusing on healing, not hosting.

Don’t Make Her Wait on You

New moms have plenty on their plates, and it’s essential to avoid adding to their responsibilities.

When you arrive, ensure you don’t expect her to cater to your needs. Instead, take the initiative to tidy up or help with small chores. For instance, putting your own dishes in the sink or folding laundry can provide relief and show that you care.

You should aim to ease her burden, not increase her stress.

Do Let Her Share Her Story

Every mother’s birth experience is unique. Some women have a textbook birth that goes to plan; however, many do not. Healing and coming to terms with the experience of birth is draining and very personal. While it’s natural to want to share your own stories, focus on listening to her.

Encourage her to share her thoughts and feelings about her journey. Listen actively and respond with empathy. For example, if she feels overwhelmed by her experience, validate her feelings instead of comparing them to your own. Your support will help her feel heard and understood, which is invaluable.

Don’t Pressure Visits Too Early

Adjusting to life after childbirth can take time. It’s important to allow new moms the space they need.

Refrain from pressuring her to socialize or make plans too soon. If she isn't ready, respect her pace. For example, if you want to drop off food, consider dropping it off at her doorstep and sending a text after you leave saying there is a surprise for her. A simple, caring act like this can show her you respect her boundaries.

Be Comfortable With Boobs Out

For breastfeeding mamas, the first few months in your home is a tops optional zone! Newborns typically feed every 2 to 3 hours, and if a new mom is still trying to establish breastfeeding, they will need to offer their newborn baby the boob on a moments notice. Be prepared for the possibility that the baby will nurse during your visit. The last thing this new mom needs is to be fussing with covers or feeling isolated in another room. Being comfortable with this situation shows respect for the new mom and her needs.

Offer to Help

Holding the baby can be a significant relief for the new mom. It gives her precious moments to shower, nap, or focus on self-care. However, it’s important to strike a balance.

Instead of solely holding the baby, you could offer to help with other tasks while she bonds with her child. Consider folding laundry, washing dishes, or even prepping the next meal. Such offers not only support her but also allow her to enjoy those special first moments with her newborn.

Final Thoughts

• do not show up empty handed

• do not show up unexpectedly

• deliver care packages at the doorstep

• allow her to share her experience

• help with household tasks

• help her feel comfortable and confident