Motherhood Transitions: Navigating the Constant Struggle and Rebuilding Confidence

Who feels that motherhood is overloaded with navigating transitions? Each transition brings with it a unique set of challenges that can shake our confidence to the core. I have been reflecting on what exactly creates this lack of confidence and insecurity of being a mom. One point that keeps occurring is the amount of transitions. As soon as we feel we have conquered a phase - there is a new thing. Whether it is a transition to a second child, crib to bed, breast to bottle, crawling to walking, teething, 2 naps to 1 nap to no naps, to daycare or school, an array of sicknesses; there is always a new thing to challenge us and make us feel inadequate. The monumental transition from being an independent person to becoming a mother is a transition like none other. A transition filled with contradicting emotions that you feel simultaneously; joyful and depressed, excited and fearful. Although our lives were filled with barriers that we overcame before motherhood, at that time we were in control of our actions, in control of how we responded to events. Now... we are taking on these challenges with an irrational, often dysregulated, and adorable human. The lack of control is an overpowering force that weighs on our confidence.

The transition from one child to two is a whirlwind of emotions. Suddenly, you find yourself juggling the needs of two little ones, each vying for your attention in their unique way. Doubts creep in - “Did we have this second child too soon?”, “Did we wait too long between children?”, "Will I be able to meet both their needs?" - leaving mothers feeling overwhelmed and questioning their abilities.

Becoming a mother marks a profound shift in identity. Once an independent person, you are now responsible for nurturing and caring for another life. Your schedule is irrelevant. The baby is the boss of your time. Even when we attempt to schedule strategically, it is Murphy’s Law; your baby will wake up early from their nap, fall asleep in the car, or refuse their nap, causing your schedule to be a moot point in the organization of the day's events. The transition is intense, requiring you to realign your priorities and redefine what it means to live for someone else. In the midst of this adjustment, it's easy to lose sight of yourself and your worth beyond motherhood.

Each transition, big or small, chips away at our confidence, leaving us feeling vulnerable and unsure. Motherhood is a journey filled with highs and lows, victories and setbacks. The constant state of flux can make us question our abilities as mothers, making it easy to lose sight of the incredible job we are doing every single day.

What is the answer? How can we continually rebuild our confidence? How can we retain our individuality while living for someone else? The answer to this is not simple (but neither is motherhood). We must trust our motherly intuition; there is a powerful and unexplainable force within a mother, we need to embrace and trust that part of ourselves. We must lean on our village, lean on The Motherhood. We must celebrate our victories and forgive ourselves for our shortcomings. We need to remind ourselves that we have already conquered many hardships throughout our journey, how quickly we forget! We survived the newborn phase (maybe by the skin of our teeth), sickness during pregnancy, the pain of childbirth, the frustrations of starting solids, the bittersweet emotions of your child moving to a big kid bed, the runny noses, the teething. While some of us in The Motherhood may not have experienced all of these - I have a strong feeling that all of us have conquered one. And that needs to be remembered. That needs to be celebrated. We must take comfort knowing all mothers are experiencing a type of tribulation. While motherhood can feel lonely, we are not alone.

We need to find empowerment in the struggle of Motherhood. We need to accept that we will never be perfect and embrace the difficulties. We need to trust our intuition and know that we were built for this. We as women were designed to withstand these adversities and that is something to be proud of. Motherhood is not about perfection; it's about perseverance, love, and resilience. Although each new obstacle feels like a mountain you cannot bring yourself to climb, take a moment, look back, be in awe of yourself as you admire the vast mountain range you have already conquered to get where you are.

Now to you, The Motherhood. Allow all mothers to feel seen by finding common ground in our stories. Empower each other through the wisdom many of us have and others crave.

Is there a transition that impacted you more than others?

• What advice would you give a new mom feeling overwhelmed by navigating these changes?

• Does hindsight change how you see this challenge you have overcome?

• Are you currently navigating a specific transition?

• Do you feel you are rebuilding your self-confidence, brick by brick, each day, just to be rocked by a new challenge tomorrow?

• What wisdom have you earned that has helped you rebuild your confidence and persevere through new transitions?