The Beautiful Chaos of Motherhood: An Interview with Katie

A huge thank you to everyone in The Motherhood who contributed questions for Katie! I hope you find as much joy, emotion, and wisdom in her story as I did during our interview.

I had the chance to sit down with Katie, a stay-at-home mom of six, whose motherhood journey is filled with surprises, resilience, and a whole lot of heart. Katie's family is made up of twin girls (14), an adopted son (8), a singleton son (5), and two foster children (3 and 3). She drives a very sexy 8-passenger Chrysler Pacifica, and she’s the first to admit she never thought she'd be a "van mom." But as any busy mom can tell you, sliding doors and folding seats quickly become game changers when you’re juggling six kids. In the throes of motherhood, practicality over style is the name of the game. Although I’d argue that these days, vans have really stepped up in the style department!

Katie lives and breathes schedules. For her, structure isn’t just about keeping things running smoothly—it’s about giving her kids a sense of security and supporting her own mental health. Her routine helps everyone in the house know what to expect, what needs to be done, and when. And it works (usually, kids are kids). Everyone pitches in, creating a support system that extends far beyond her immediate family. Katie is grateful for her village of family, friends, and neighbors who support her and her children. 

Despite the chaos that comes with a household of six, Katie truly enjoys being a stay-at-home mom. As a self-proclaimed homebody, staying home is exactly where she wants to be. But her journey through motherhood has been anything but straightforward. Along the way, she’s experienced the highest highs and some pretty low lows. And although she makes it look easy, Katie is refreshingly honest about the struggles she’s faced.

What I love most about this conversation with Katie is how her experiences reflect the beauty and challenges of motherhood. Her wisdom and openness not only resonated with me—they made me feel seen, validated in my own journey. While every mom’s story is unique, there’s an invisible thread that binds us all: the shared struggles, sacrifices, and love that can’t be fully explained but can only be deeply felt. It's in the sleepless nights, the endless worry, and the way love stretches beyond what you ever thought was possible.

Here’s a glimpse into Katie’s beautiful, wild ride.

The Wild Ride of Katie’s Journey to Motherhood

Katie’s journey to motherhood started in the most unexpected way. At 22, newly dating Mike, she found out she was pregnant. But that was only the beginning. On a trip to visit Mike’s family, Katie got a bit of a shock. After a brief trip to the hospital for some spotting, the nurse casually mentioned, "You’re aware you’re having two, right?" Katie’s response? "Two WHAT?!"

Mike’s reaction? Elation. Katie’s? Complete disbelief.

That surprise quickly became a full-on adventure. Katie’s pregnancy with the twins was difficult—she was put on bed rest due to a small tear in her placenta—but despite the challenges, her twin girls were born healthy. They spent two weeks in the NICU, and though it was hard, Katie now reflects on those two weeks with gratitude. The regimented schedule the nurses followed helped her get the rest she needed, and by 8 weeks, her twins were sleeping a full 8 hours. (Yes, you read that right—8 hours!)

But the surprises didn’t stop there. After years of trying to grow their family, Katie and Mike made the decision to adopt. They chose to adopt a child who was already in the foster system, and after a long, thorough process that included home studies and case workers, they were approved for adoption in June 2017. In March 2018, they got the call. There was a little boy—a spectacular 18-month-old—waiting for them.

Just as they were settling into life as a family of five, Katie got another surprise: she was pregnant again—just six months after their adopted son came home. Katie, of course, was stunned. Mike? Elated.

The pregnancy was smooth sailing… until the end. Katie experienced a month of prodromal labor before finally being induced. The aftermath wasn’t easy either—blood pressure issues, severe engorgement, and a colicky baby made those early days challenging. But as Katie will tell you, motherhood isn’t about perfection—it’s about doing your best, day in and day out.

Then, in 2021, Katie and Mike opened their home to foster children, starting with one. Years later, they now foster two kids at a time, a dynamic that has worked for them. Katie is passionate about being a foster parent and plans to continue this journey for years to come.

One of the most challenging aspects of being a foster parent, Katie shares, is the inevitable goodbye. As much as she loves the children she opens her home to, there’s always a bittersweet reality that they may not stay forever. "You have to protect your heart a little bit," she says, reflecting on the emotional difficulty of letting go. "These children are so special to our family, but they won’t always be ours." Katie has learned to cherish each moment while also maintaining a balance—loving them deeply, but not fully attaching in a way that makes the eventual parting unbearable. It’s a delicate dance between giving all of yourself to the child in need and preparing yourself for the bittersweet day they leave.

The Chaos of Transitions and the Power of Routine

Every mother knows the feeling—the transitions that come with each new stage. For Katie, the hardest transition was going from three to four children. The whirlwind of adjusting to one more person in the house—along with the demands that come with them—was intense.

Her story had me thinking: Why do we, as mothers, often have to push through those tough early days alone? After hearing Katie’s story, it’s clear that those early postpartum days are difficult—physically, emotionally, and mentally. There’s something deeply wrong with the way new mothers are sent home with little to no support after birth. What if we gave moms more time to heal, more help to adjust? Wouldn't it be a game-changer for families? Katie shared that her experience with her children in the NICU was actually less stressful than the transition home with her fourth baby. In the NICU, she had medical professionals monitoring her twins, offering structure, and providing essential support. But after bringing her fourth child home, she was thrust into the challenges of recovery and caring for a newborn with no additional medical guidance. The stark difference in support left her feeling isolated, overwhelmed, and dragging herself (while still healing, three children at home, and a newborn) to the doctors office for medical attention. It makes me wonder: What if the support we received after birth was better designed to help mothers heal, physically and emotionally?

Katie’s experience with breastfeeding also highlighted the pressure that mothers face when it comes to feeding their babies. She struggled with the physical and emotional toll of breastfeeding her youngest son. Eventually, after much pain and frustration, she was prescribed a medication to end her milk supply, and she says she felt “relief” since she did not have to make that decision and feel guilt over it but would also feel healthier, have help feeding the baby, and regain some sanity. 

Katie reflects on the overwhelming pressure to breastfeed, the guilt that comes when it doesn’t go as planned, and the harsh reality that society often leaves mothers to face these struggles alone. The pressure to breastfeed can feel all-consuming, and when it doesn’t work, the shame can be paralyzing. What’s rarely discussed is the toll this expectation takes on a mother’s mental health—the exhaustion, the self-doubt, the isolation. The truth is, the pursuit of "perfect" motherhood can sometimes be more damaging than helpful, yet it’s a conversation we often avoid. This pressure is compounded by subtle, yet constant reminders that "breast is best"—even on formula containers, where a disclaimer is included to reinforce this idea. It creates a sense of failure for many mothers, when in reality, their mental well-being should be just as prioritized as their baby’s nutrition.

The Secret to Staying Sane: Routines and Teamwork

One of the biggest things that stood out during my conversation with Katie was the importance of routine. With six kids of varying ages, extracurricular activities, and different needs, the schedule isn’t just helpful—it’s essential. Katie and Mike run a well-oiled machine. Every Sunday, they sit down to plan the week, checking in on everything from drop-offs to pick-ups to family events.

Their kids are all involved in the process too, which gives them a sense of responsibility and a role in the family. As Michaeleen Doucleff writes in Hunt, Gather, Parent, research suggests that when children feel like part of the team, their behaviour improves and their intrinsic motivation increases.

The most chaotic time of day? After school, when everyone is home and full of energy. But with everyone aware of their responsibilities—whether it’s getting homework done, preparing for an extracurricular activity, or helping out around the house—things run fairly smoothly (most days, anyway). And then, there’s bedtime. Katie’s routine is the key to getting all her kids settled after a long day. It’s predictable, structured, and (perhaps most importantly) works for their varying ages.

Marriage Amidst the Madness

When I asked Katie about keeping the spark alive in her marriage to Mike, two things stood out:

1. It’s never 50/50

2. Date night should be an activity

Katie explains that the 50/50 idea doesn’t always work when you have so much going on. Sometimes, she’s doing 80% of the work, and sometimes Mike is doing the heavy lifting. The key is flexibility—knowing that both partners will step up when the other needs a break.

As for date night, Katie and Mike make it a priority—but they keep it light and fun. Instead of the usual dinner-and-talk-about-kids scenario, they go mini-golfing, axe throwing, or bowling. These activities not only allow them to enjoy time together but also give them a mental break from the constant "parenting" mode.

The Advice Katie Would Give Her Younger Self

When I asked Katie what advice she’d give to her younger, pregnant self, she didn’t hesitate: “Buckle up! There’s a lot more to come! But honestly, I’d tell her not to be so hard on herself and to accept all the help offered.”

I’m deeply grateful to Katie for sharing her story with me—her wisdom, honesty, and openness have given me a lot to reflect on. Katie is one of my greatest allies in this motherhood journey, and I feel incredibly lucky to have her by my side.

Motherhood is a wild ride, and if there’s one thing we all know for sure, it’s that we’re never alone in it.